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  • Jessica

The Problem With “I Don’t Deserve You”


How many times have you told a friend or partner that you do not deserve them? I know I’ve done it. Heck, I did it just yesterday, when my partner went above and beyond for my birthday. I was eating breakfast in bed that he made me with a pile of gifts we went out and got me. While I was expressing how much I love him I said, “I don’t deserve you.”


This was just something that rolled right off my tongue, I didn’t even think about it. I was just so moved by what he did for me it slipped right out. But even though I said “I don’t deserve you," that’s not what I meant because I want to be with Luke.


Here’s What I Mean When I Said It

“I don’t deserve you,” is something we hear on T.V. and movies when a character does something exceptional for someone else. Typically this is said between romantic partners and that is where I most likely learned this saying from.


When I said it to Luke yesterday I didn’t mean it. I love him so much and I know that he loves me. There is no doubt in my mind that we shouldn’t be together. We complement each other in areas in which we need growth. We even dropped everything to move in together across the country. When I said, “I don’t deserve you,” I was meaning that I am so grateful to his commitment to me and the animals.


Here’s Why It’s A Problem

Every time we say that we do not deserve one of our partners we are making a mistake. Of course, we deserve them. You and I both deserve to be with someone who cares for us and loves us. We deserve someone that treats us right, makes us laugh, and makes us an overall better person. And when we say that we don’t deserve them what are we really saying that we should be with someone that treats us like garbage? No, of course not!


We need to stop telling our partners and ourselves that we do not deserve them because we do. I know that Luke is the best person for me and we are meant to be together so why would I say differently to him. That’s crazy.


So for now on moving forward I am not going to say that phrase anymore. I deserve him and he deserves me. And I will express how I feel about him in a better way moving forward.


In the comments down below let me know if you have ever told someone that you don't deserve them even though you do.



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