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- Jessica
Grieving: How To Help Those You Love With The Process, While Taking Care Of Yourself
This past weekend I took time for myself to grieve after learning about the passing of my Uncle Denise.
Unfortunately, losing a loved one is something I am familiar with and grieving has become a part of my life whether I like it or not. People who know me know that I have lost my father from cancer five years ago, and since then I have lost a lot of people and even pets I have carried about.
But losing my uncle was different. His death was a surprise and the only thing I could think about was my cousin and how she lost her dad. Now after all of the years of her bring more of the older sister to me, I was taking care of her and helping her throw this horrible situation.
How Do You Help Someone Deal With A Loss
Unfortunately, there will be times in life where you will have to help people after they have had a loss. Since everyone grieves differently what they might need from you can be different from person to person.
One of the best ways to help someone with a loss is to remind them that you are there for them. This can be done through call, text, or even a handwritten letter. This small gesture can mean a lot to your grieving friend. There can be times where they feel so overwhelmed they might not respond to you. This is not them ignoring you, but them getting caught up in grief and funeral planning.
Make sure you reach out to them in different ways until you get a response. Additionally, your friend is now in a world of firsts. It will be their first holiday without the person they lost, the first birthday without them, and the first anniversary of their death. Reaching out multiples times throughout the year just to show that you care about them can make them feel less alone.
Also, a wonderful way to show support is to pray for them and their lost loved one. Other ways you can show support is to send flowers or even stop by with a cooked meal for them. It's the little things like this that can help them stay on tack during the sorrow.
How To Practice Self-Care While Grieving
It can be hard when you are grieving to do anything. I mean anything. From eating, sleeping, showering, and so much more every moment and movement can just hurt and make you feel exhausted. So how can you take care of yourself while grieving?
There are baby steps everyone can take when they are grieving that can keep them healthy and moving forward.
One of the best ways to practice self-care is to focus on at least one task a day. This task can be anything from taking a shower or washing your clothes. This goal is going to be different for everyone since people go through the grieving process differently. But just setting one attainable thing you can go for yourself is setting steps for great self-care.
Something that everyone needs to survive is food. And during this emotional time, you might not feel like eating. but the only way for you to get energy is to eat. Eat anything. You can cook your passed loved one's favorite meal to feel more connected to them or get something delivered if you are not in the mood to cook or leave the house. But making yourself eat, at least one small meal a day, can help your mood and energy.
Focus on what you can control. This can be hard when your mind is racing thinking about the future or replaying past events from the day, but focusing on what you can control can help you stay in the moment. Just thinking about the past or the future can make you feel very exhausted and overwhelmed. There is no reason for you to do this to yourself. Be nice to yourself and just take every day at a time.
RELATED: Grieving: A Process I Know Too Well
Struggling To Move On After A Death
A hard part about losing someone you love is getting into a new routine. At first, you might not want to figure out your life without this person, but you are still here on this Earth and you need to live your best life.
Your losses loved one would not want you to sit around being sad about them every day. You need to still go to your job, hang out with friends, and do your hobbies. This will help your healing process and let you feel joy in your life again.
Of course, there are going to be days when you will get upset and you need to feel that pain as it comes. but you should not just stay home doing nothing for the rest of your life.
Try something new to make new friends and to get out of the house. Or go do something just for yourself. It may not feel like it, but you will be able to find a new normal one day.
If you have any other tips or advice for dealing with a loss please leave a comment down below.