Grieving: A Process I Know Too Well

Grieving is a process someone goes through after a loss. Typically the loss is when a person you love dies and passes on to the next place, but even just a loss of a friendship with no longer talking to a friend can cause a person to go into a grieving process or even just news that is hard for you to hear and believe. Grieving is something that everyone goes through at different stages of their life.

I know I posted about this already, but my dog Maybe passed away on July 8th, 2019. Maybe was more than a pet to me, she was a companion. She loved hanging out with me, snuggling, and being around me when I would talk to her.

Though I am not completely grieving Maybe right now, I know the grieving process all too well.

Losing Family Members

From a young age, I dealt with losing family members. When I was in first grade, I lost my grandma on my dad’s side. I can still remember sitting in the waiting room with one of his family members watching my brother and I. My mom, dad, aunt and uncle where off talking in a different room. All I remember was my dad’s family member saying that if I needed to I could use her sleeve as a tissue to try to make my brother and me laugh.

Of course, at that age, I could not fully understand death, but I didn't know one thing, I was not going to see my grandma again.

Then in high school, I lost my cousin Steve when he was in the army. The news shocked the whole family. And Steve was more of a brother to my brother and me since all throughout our childhood he and his sister, Joy, always played with us at grandma’s house. This time I know all about death, since I was a junior in high school. It made me sad thinking about missed opportunities with him and I did go through the grieving process with my cousin's death.

When Your Father Passes

But when I was in college I got the worst news I could imagine, during winter break my first year we found out that my dad had stage four lung cancer and had about two years to live. This news was the worst thing I could hear out of my dad’s mouth.

My dad ended up passing away my last year in college in October 2014. When my mom called in the early morning from the hospital I didn’t know what to say to her besides “I’m sorry.” I know that we had ten days in hospice with my dad, but with his good spirit and jokes all the way up to the end, it was difficult to imagine some days that we were literally waiting for him to pass on

At first, I tried to keep it together. I had to be strong for my mother since she just lost her life partner and her best friend. It wasn’t until weeks later it really hit me that my dad was gone.

The grieving process is going to be different for everyone and the time through out it will vary in lengths, but just know that if you are in the process right now, you will be okay and make it through.